I’m vindicated of all responsibility

Having been looking through my long list of hilarious things people actually said in meetings, often not realising they’s made a slip of the tongue until their fellow colleagues all fell about laughing, I thought I’d share some more.

I know I have posted these before, but I laugh again every time I read them. These were all things my colleagues (and I) said accidentally in staff meetings, and all names have been changed:

  1. Handed a spoon to redeem himself
  2. Having had a very good start in terms 1 and 2, Jay has fallen off the top of the mountain in terms 3 and 4
  3. He must use a time-keeping machine to try to be on time.
  4. he only went aloof twice (awol)
  5. He probably has a bed in his bedroom
  6. He sets himself up as a tangent
  7. He’s all piss and vinegar.
  8. Her hair was like a Beefeater (bearskin)
  9.  I can give you a reiki. I am very good at something being done to me and then knowing what to do.
  10. I can see your chin growing longer (Pinocchio’s nose)
  11. I can see your chin growing.
  12. I didn’t realise what a lovely shape it was until Belinda got it out
  13. I don’t want this to go between these two walls
  14. I never have much success with that toilet in the ladies towel, it’s either pulled down and not changed or its pulled down all the time.
  15.  I once went to a stretching seminar
  16. I’m vindicated of all responsibility
  17. I’ve been given a form from River Island to fill in  (Inland Revenue )
  18. If a face could paint a thousand stories
  19. If he’s upset we’ll suffer the backlog (backlash)
  20. It only becomes an issue when it becomes a problem

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