I know it was not exactly crack of dawn, but it was fairly early on a Saturday, when the phone rang.

Hello, may I speak to Mr Smartmole?

Smartmole is not even an appropriation of my married name.

Mr Shafthome?

I gave the person no more of my time, briefly, but courteously, I hope, told her I had no interest in whatever she was trying to sell us (active water I think) said good  morning quite sharply and put the phone down.

To the telesales person who rang, and any others…

  • I know you must be desperate for a job to be doing this
  • I know you have a certain number of calls to get through or your supervisor will be on your neck
  • I know your pay is probably linked to the number of successful calls you make
  • I know you tried your best to be pleasant and courteous
  • I know you are reading off a screen, and no doubt reading a daunting list of name
  • HOWEVER – please just take a couple of seconds to really look at the name on the list – our name, though unusual is easy to pronounce, only two syllables, each one an ordinary word in its own right (neither smart nor mole, nor shaft, nor home) – you got the initial letter correct but that was totally it
  • Getting the name wrong, as if you have just rung up a random person (which actually you have) makes you sound as if you are operating a scam so I am not likely to trust your company for anything – let alone active water (whatever that is) I like my water passive, just sitting in my glass, or coming politely out of my tap

To the company employing cold callers:

  • TAKE ME OFF YOUR LIST
  • UNDERSTAND THAT IF I WANT YOUR SERVICES (WHATEVER THEY ARE) I WILL GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU

I might have been a vulnerable or old and confused person, or a lonely person who engages with a pleasantly spoken caller and ended up committing to something they may not need/do not really want/don’t understand/cannot afford.

Fortunately I wasn’t. Grrrrrrr!

2 thoughts on “If you’re ringing me, please get my name right

  1. I always get there annoying calls right at supper time. I get mad at first then thankful that I never had to do that to put food on the table. I knew a girl that worked as a telemarketer and she said that if you didn’t make your quota of sales by the end of the week they gave you the walk of shame to the exit door. Like my dad told me as a lad [ It’s a jungle out there son ]

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    • I know – both my kids have had aspects of it – not in actual telephone sales but in call centres, and it’s the most ghastly job, so I do try and be polite, but it is so annoying!!

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