I’m a blue toothbrush

I seem to be going through a phase of thinking back to songs I heard when I was a child; I mentioned ‘Hoots Mon‘ by Lord Rockingham’s XI, and that led to an exchange of comments about comedy songs  from long ago, including ‘Three wheels on my wagon‘, and then I mentioned ‘I’m a pink toothbrush…‘  It was a children’s song (I think!) imagining a romance between a pink and a blue toothbrush… it does sound very surreal now I actually write it down.

We don’t seem to have comedy songs any more and it’s probably just as well because they actually weren’t very funny (although we children thought they were!) ‘Does your chewing gum lose it’s flavour on the bedpost overnight?” ‘Hole in the ground’, ‘My ole man’s a dustman’... and so many more…. Charlie Drake, Bernard Cribbins, Lonnie Donegan, Max Bygraves… and it was Max Bygraves who was responsible for the toothbrush romance!

Bygraves was born in 1922 to a very poor family; his parents, six children and grandparents all lived in a two-bedroomed house. He went out to work at fourteen and then, as most men his age, had to join the forces and in his case it was the RAF.  He became a singer and entertainer and soon became one of the most popular stars in British variety. He maintained his popularity for decades before moving to Australia where he died aged eighty-nine.

I don’t think I can bear to play the ghastly toothbrush song, but you can find it on YouTube.. . but here is the lyric, just so you can judge what you are missing:

You’re a pink toothbrush, I’m a blue toothbrush
Have we met somewhere before?
You’re a pink toothbrush and I think toothbrush
That we met by the bathroom door.

Glad to meet toothbrush, such a sweet toothbrush
How you thrill me through and through
Don’t be hard toothbrush on a soft toothbrush
‘Cause I can’t help loving you.

Every time I hear you whistle…… it makes my nylon bristle…….

You’re a pink toothbrush, I’m a blue toothbrush
Won’t you marry me in haste?
I’ll be true toothbrush, just to you toothbrush
When we both use the same toothpaste.

You must admit, it is pretty terrible…. but here is what Max sounded like:



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